Cocoon After Dark

Gay GoGo Dancer + Mortgage Advisor + Costumes and Production

• Quincy Tessaverne • Season 1

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Wesley Grey Hartmann lives at the intersection of intellect, embodiment, and unapologetic authenticity. By day, he is a trusted mortgage advisor and math geek helping people secure their futures with clarity and confidence. By night, he is a go-go dancer, costume designer, and production company called Wes Hollywood in Los Angeles. He is a luminous reminder that queer-joy and self-expression deserve as much time as spreadsheets. His world isn't one of balancing two worlds-it's about integrating them, and inviting others to do the same.

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Hey guys. Welcome back to Cocoon After Dark tonight, we're peeling back the clothing of Go-Go Dancer, production producer, financial wizard, math tutor, and member of the Los Angeles, L-A-G-B-T-Q. Did I say that right? That sounds weird. Los Angeles, L-G-B-T-Q, board member. And we are talking all things erotic, all things nursing, student tutoring, and how you can come to some of his shows if you are in the West Hollywood area or you're out here on vacation. So listen up and have fun listening to Wes Hartman.

Quincy:

All right you guys tonight my guest is Wes Hartman. He is a friend of mine. I met through another lifetime, and now we're both in a completely different world. But I wanted to bring Wess on because not only is he multifaceted, he is definitely. An icon within the West Hollywood L-G-B-T-Q community. Lots of people know who he is. In fact, a couple weeks ago was at my hair salon and one of the people that I met there said, oh, let's see who we know in common. And you were one of the people that came out. Oh my gosh. And I was like, of course

Wes:

do. Who was that? Do you remember?

Quincy:

Her name's Ashley. Ashley also. Ashley.

Wes:

Oh my gosh. Yes.

Quincy:

Totally. She's gonna be on the podcast. That's so

Wes:

funny. She does the puff Daddy. Yeah, like the, exactly the, cannabis company, right? Yes. Yes.

Quincy:

And they wait. Girls, gays and theys. Exactly, yes. Yeah,

Wes:

Uhhuh. Exactly. They were doing a pride event that she invited me to. That's so funny.

Quincy:

Yeah. Yeah. So that was pretty cool. But anyway, so let's start here. When did you first realize that being gay would shape not only who you love, but how you would lead the world?

Wes:

Oof. That's a good question. I think that, I come from a pretty small town and I was never open about my sexuality. I had some I had I ideas about who I liked from a very early age. In fact, when I was in third grade, I told my mom not really having the language Yeah. To say what I meant, that I wished I was a girl. Oh, because I felt that it would just be easier, if I was heterosexual and I knew that I liked boys and being a girl would mean that I was.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Wes:

So I guess how does it shape shape my place in a leadership sense? I think that just, having come to terms with my sexuality and being in Los Angeles where it's much easier and there is a lot of opportunity for. LGBT folk that doesn't exist in smaller areas. I think that just being who I am and feeling comfortable in my skin has let me take on. More of a platform. Like I, I am on the board of directors for the LGBT Chamber of Commerce, as and obviously if I had never come out, that would never have been an opportunity that I had.

Quincy:

I mean, you're pretty smart. There's a chance you could be on some other board of directors. It just might not.

Wes:

Sure. But would I have had the. Drive to pursue something else. That wasn't necessarily a hundred percent true to myself. I don't know it, you can't ever know. But I think that, I'm very, I sometimes have wished that I came out sooner, but I also know that my path happened the way that it did because of when I came out. So I can't necessarily clinging to that wish, but ever since I have come out, just in terms of my. Self-esteem and, how I perceive myself in the world has been so much more improved, I don't know if that answered the question specifically. No, it definitely does.

Speaker 3:

It

Wes:

totally does. Yeah. But, I think that, coming out. Was what needed to happen for me to fully embrace myself and also allow others to, of course I have had friends and I have great social experiences, but those people may not have known who I was entirely before that. And now they do. Yeah. And just embracing an identity that maybe I grew up feeling was. Not a good thing has definitely proved to be a good thing, and I think given me a lot more confidence to. Raise my voice, so to speak.

Quincy:

I love that. That's so cool. And we wouldn't have met I wouldn't have wanting to be friends with you at work if we were like, if we were straight.

Wes:

There's a ton of people I wouldn't have met if I had, I mean, a huge part of my circle now is. Lgbtq. Plus. So yeah, I mean, I think my life would look very different, obviously. Had I stayed in the closet.

Quincy:

And I mean, when you think back about when we were like posing as straight, even though we knew that we weren't. But when you're walking that walk and talking, that talk, like how. How like small your world seemed.

Wes:

Yeah. It's interesting like you saying that you, when you knew, but you were posing as straight because I came out as bisexual years before I came out as gay and I actually believed it. I actually had an epiphany. One day where I realized, oh my gosh, you don't actually like women. Like you're not sexually attracted to women. Like it. And I don't know if it was an element of pulling the punch, so to speak, for myself because of my upbringing or if,'cause I have had sexual experiences, women that were enjoyable. But the fact is that I'd always prefer to go with a man. And I've even found myself in certain situations, like when I was in college, for example. During sex with a woman fantasizing about men. Which is a pretty damn good giveaway that I'm more interested in men. But yeah, for a while I actually believed the bisexual thing, and it wasn't until July of 2021, so almost exactly four years, four years ago 2021, or maybe it was even, it can't be 2022. 2021. Yeah. So four years ago is when I realized, you know what, you're gay. Good. Welcome.

Quincy:

We look. We're happy. Happy you. Happy to be here.

Wes:

Happy to be here.

Quincy:

So you've called yourself a math geek, but I get the sense that math isn't just numbers for you. For you, it's a love language. Is that sort of true?

Wes:

Sure. Yeah. I mean, math has always been something that's come naturally to me. I actually, one of my many side hustles is I am a private tutor. So I really actually love working with. Students, A lot of my students are actually pre-nursing students, so I wouldn't necessarily say kids.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Wes:

Women or men who are pursuing a nursing degree and haven't done stats for a while or ever. That's definitely a market that I, that never ever. But I enjoy it. I think that one thing that I love about math is the misconception that it is very rigid, obviously. Math is great because you can prove things, but I think people don't understand the creativity that you can bring into it. There's more than one way to skin a cat, and there's lots of different ways to solve a math problem. So yeah, and I've have several different jobs throughout my life and even now that require math and I love it. I think it's, I think it's, I think it's a beautiful thing. And some people cower from it and are, and I think it's more just to do how it's presented to them. You need someone who's gonna make it make sense and make it fun. Make it interesting,

Quincy:

right?

Wes:

Because

Quincy:

I don't have an a math brain at all, but I wish that I could see the difference in how math changes as we go, but I can't I literally, my brain doesn't see how it. Performs any different in one situation than it does in the next. Unless it has like different colored pencils and different colored like paper and all these things, like it has to have so much creativity instead of a graphite pencil or whatever kind of pencil you're using on a white piece of paper or on a whiteboard, it just seems so bland and it loses my attention.

Wes:

Yeah. Actually I will, like in college my notes looked like something out of a beautiful mind or something like that. I had four different colored pens that I would write with. It was, I had black, green, blue, and red, and depending on whether or not we were writing. Like my diagrams were in a certain color, my regular nodes were in a certain color. If we had a proof that would be in a certain color so that I could flip through it and be like, okay, like I need, I would be able to pick out those different pieces of what was being covered in class. But. I think that color coding your things is a great way to make it more fun. For sure. And then you have something that looks pretty at the end.

Quincy:

I mean, it looked pretty, but I still didn't get an A. And that's what would make me so upset. I would be so mad. I'm like, but I did all of the homework, but I did. Like I got it all right. And then it was like completely wrong,

Wes:

yeah, no, and I think that there's a big reason that kids end up saying they hate math is that, it's. SS schools are not equipped to go back and make sure that kids are actually up to the standards they should have been from previous years before jumping into new topics. And I think that is, it's something that's hard to address in public schools with teachers who are already so overworked, but that's why people like me exist. Private tutors. True. If teachers were able to cover all the topics, I wouldn't have any students that I work with. That's

Quincy:

true. That is so true. So you volunteered a lot in the LGBT community as we know. In spaces where identity, joy, love, and opportunities bound, what kind of conversations are you bringing into that room?

Wes:

That's an interesting question. I think that one that, and I don't know that I can necessarily take credit for. Bringing this conversation up, but it's one that happens a lot. I don't know that I can necessarily take credit for bringing this conversation up, but I do have thoughts on it. Something that many of the organizations that I'm a part of on a volunteer basis contend with is a lack of diversity. And what I mean by that is feminine representation versus male representation. There's often and on a volunteer based organization's gamut of people who are there, men are much more represented than women. And also even less so trans people. And it's interesting to me. I think that there is definitely something sociological going on. That whole idea that growing up, girls are told, here's what a, here's what a girl does. Here are the jobs that they might have. And so then they naturally self-select to go into those kinds of things. And I think that there is an element of that at play, but I also think that it's difficult for me to know what to change about marketing or. Different maybe event spaces themselves or sponsors and things like that to really engage women. And I've actually been trying at events to talk to, as I also noticed women group up. It's like we have the lesbian circle over here and then they're, an island in this sea of gay men. Which maybe, that's hyperbolic, but, I do see that, there's a. There's a shared experience there, so it makes sense that they would link up, but then when I engage with them and say, Hey, what would how would you address this? And often the feedback is, bring women owned businesses in as sponsors or, hosted at a lesbian bar of which there are so few. There's

Quincy:

what, 11,

Wes:

Or, include pictures of the events that include more women and. Could we be better about that kind of stuff? Absolutely. But something also tells me that there's just a time aspect that needs to happen as well as women learn that these spaces are open to them and welcome to them, and not just women, just non mask presenting people is what I'm talking about as well. And I think that it's something that it's. It's not gonna happen overnight. It's not like I just create marketing that features only women and suddenly the room's filled with women. There's a reputation that different organizations have and a history and the member base isn't gonna change overnight. And so I do. And then also just from a volunteer standpoint, like who is deciding? Yeah. I wanna, I want to be. In charge of check-in or I want to do all these things. Do we get women? Absolutely. But it's still the case that more men are coming forward and saying, this is something that I want to do. And it's a, it's. Somewhat puzzling to me. But like I said, I have some ideas about why that might be, and so in, in another sense, it's not puzzling to me. But I think that's a conversation that definitely is important to be having. If we want to say we're a queer networking, for example, space, but then only gay men are showing up then you're a gay networking space. And I think that, with being in LA and in the year 2025, it's really important that we. Continue having this conversation. And I'm always open to hearing ideas about how to get more representation from the non-gay. In our little alphabet soup.

Quincy:

And I think what happens is actually when women get in a couple, they tend to start staying home. They don't necessarily go out whether they need to work, network or not. They tend to stay home. Sure. Like even years and years ago when I would go out with my girlfriend and we would go to, the local gay bar. We were living in Honolulu at the time, the local gay bar that was open, seven days a week. Everyone knew what it was called, and all those kinds of things. We would walk in and for. Hour upon hour, we were the only two girls that were there. And it was like we know there's tons of other lesbians in Oahu. There's tons of lesbian tourists that are coming here. Why aren't they coming in? There's flags everywhere. Like everyone knows this bar. You can't not miss it, yeah.

Wes:

The, I, the lesbian's idea of fun is a lot different than. True the gay man's idea. Fun. Especially when we're talking about nightlife. True. Yeah.

Quincy:

But this was just like, on like on Sundays we called it beer bust. And we would hang out at the beach all day and then you went to the bar. In your bathing suit. It didn't matter how Sandy you were, how sunburnt you were. Like everyone just rolled up off the beach and went and it, and that was like a five ish, or if it was summertime, it was after sunset. So whatever time sunset was. You waited until sunset and then you walked over there because the beach that we had was called Queens Beach for all the fricking queens. And right next door was, I've been to Queen Beach. Yes. Was the boneyard, which was like the old gay guys that hung out there, right?

Wes:

Was that actually what it's called? The boneyard? Yeah, boneyard. Boneyard for old gay, yeah. These were the old

Quincy:

gays that were over there, and the youngsters went to Queens Beach and and so you'd see and it wasn't very far to walk to the, as not very far, to walk from Queens over to the bar that we're talking about. And it, it just, we would yell down to people come up, we'd see like group of girls come up, you guys, there's gay flags everywhere. And you just couldn't get people motivated, to do this. And I don't know why, because they're literally just hanging around, have a cocktail, or don't, music is on and people are just like chatting and hanging out. Like it wasn't like an event. And yeah, it stayed open late, but it wasn't like. Seen. Yeah. It was just like an opportunity for people to hang out.

Wes:

I think you gotta be the change. I can understand being a lesbian or just not even, let's not focus on the lesbian, gay thing, but if I were looking at a room full of people who I felt different from in some way, would I be. Brave enough to go stake my spot in that room. Maybe I would, but can I count on everyone else to do that? And maybe I wouldn't, I don't know. But I think that it's one of those things that women who want to see that shift should keep on going to those things. Yeah,

Speaker 3:

totally.

Wes:

And tell their friends and give feedback when appropriate. But also, I think that I, I. There have been, most of those conversations go really well and people are glad that I'm trying to engage with it. And I do a pretty good job of following through on if there's a referral or something like that, but I have had some conversations that don't go so well and with they're obviously frustrated with the fact of the way that things are and it's I, I get it. I'm, you see me as someone who's in charge and you feel like something needs to change. A certain element of giving me a piece of your mind is not surprising, but also it is it takes me a second to catch my breath and think, okay, is coming from a place passion. I'm, they're not mad at me specifically, it's a situation, but when that conversation does take that turn. My, my knee jerk reaction is to say fuck you. Yeah. Why am I, trying to cater to you and this is how you're treating me. But, I, like I said, I, it's, and then also it's like I'm volunteering.

Speaker 3:

Yes.

Wes:

I'm not getting paid for this. It's not I'm making a salary here and I'm, got abusing some DEI, metric that I should be adhering to. But yeah, so that's the other thing where it's okay. Yes, I hear you. I and my thing there is it would be great if people understood that conversation is something that I'm trying to have, because I agree and getting mad at me is not necessarily helping the cause, I'm we're on the same team there,

Quincy:

right? Oh my gosh. Yeah. I can imagine how off putting that could be, right?

Wes:

Because.

Quincy:

We would have this entourage of boys, would come to our house to eat before we went out. They would come and bring material and drape us and things for outfits for the night. They celebrated us, it was amazing and we had so much fun and we reciprocated all the time. We were so appreciative that they invited us out and took care of us, or drove us home or make sure they walked us home or what have you.'Cause when you live in Honolulu, a lot of people are in walking distance of a lot of these places, so it's very easy to, be part of that group or what have you. Yeah. But let's talk legacy. What do you hope queer leadership in. Volunteering in finance in business looks like in 10 to 15 years from now.

Wes:

One thing that I'm hopeful of is that especially like on a more corporate level, that how you present within your community is, I'm hopeful that that the way that you present within your community is something that, corporations and your employer and things like that can learn to embrace. And the reason that I say that is when you and I were working together, that company got wind caught wind of the fact that I was a performer. And literally sent me a cease and desist letter for that and quoted a reputation hazard. And said that this was something that I, I shouldn't be doing because it would detrimentally impact, what I was trying to achieve with them. And it's this company's based on the East coast. It's almost 200 years old. You have no idea what it's like to be a gay man in Los Angeles in my twenties. This is a legitimate networking opportunity, first of all. People are, and so it's like one of those things where. The context is very important. I could understand maybe like someone in this rural town, engaging in some kind of go-go dancing career and posting pictures of themselves, a little more scantily clad than what a typical, corporate job holder would be doing. Might be detrimental. But in LA in this metropolitan and very LGBT friendly, LGBT forward at least city, it's not a bad thing. And it's, I think that, I'm hoping that the tide turns on that. And, I'm very lucky now that my current employer actually does celebrate that kind of thing. And, the, my boss, the guy who hired me. I, when he first was hiring me he was saying all these things about how, I didn't want you to be yourself. I want you to, like just do the things that you normally do and and, find, talk to people that you'd be talking to naturally to find clients. And I was like, that's really great, Darren, but I wanna make sure before, because I had this. Cease and desist experience. I, wanna make sure before you jump into this relationship with me, that you know who I am and what I'm doing. And so I told him, he was like, Wes, I followed you on Instagram for two years. That's why I want you to join this company because you're a part of the community in a way that I could never be. And I think that, having had that experience of, be having a, an employer be so opposed to it, to the point of taking quasi-legal steps, and then, contrasting that with this guy. I hope that more companies can learn to understand that times are changing. Geography matters. Like who you are is not something that should be entirely defined by your day job. And there's nothing wrong with, there's nothing inherently wrong with. Gogo dancing or burlesque or drag or any of these things, can there be issues that arise? Sure. I'm not posting pictures of my butthole on Instagram, nice. Yet that's something that seems like it's, that, might cross a line and like I could understand if maybe you were interested in getting a mortgage and saw that, that you might think, okay, maybe not, but like just, something that is part of a promotional shoot for a show where, it's. Still pg, maybe PG 13. I think that should be taken for what it is not a, seen as something that's going to prevent people from wanting to work with you.

Quincy:

Part of, I remember when we were going through all the signing and things like that, and you couldn't contribute like over$5 or$50, whatever it was, to like certain candidates and things like that. But what if you were like. A Rockette, or you were a Baptist singer, or you were a tap dancer in a topless bar, or you were, like a rollerskating waiter. Like how is Go-Go considered. So bad if your company say, isn't Baptist and they're Mormon, or it was, right wing fundamentalist Christian or something like this, which might be Baptist, I don't know because I don't know anything about it. But you know what I'm saying, like you can't sing in your church choir because we're not Catholic. Our company is Christian. You can't tap dance because we're, we are Baptist and we don't believe in dancing. There were so many. Barriers to success that it just made you not wanna stay there. And so ultimately, obviously neither one of us stayed there.

Wes:

Oh yeah.

Quincy:

But so let's, but

Wes:

congratulations on getting out.

Quincy:

Thank you. Let's switch to the go-Go. Yeah. I have to bring this up because you, you're not just a go-go dancer by night or a go-go dancer at Pride or a Go-Go dancer at weekend Bru brunches you. Have a passion for self-expression, right? So tell me how has dancing changed the way you think about being fully at home in your body And on stage. And what exactly is the prep like to be a go-go dancer? Because I know for women. Dancers and things like that. Like we are like not eating, we're doing enemas to make like our belly as flat as we can. All of these things to make us look like as felt as possible. So what is it like for male go-go dancers? I'll

Wes:

say I do enemas, but for a different reason, which

Quincy:

we can all guess what that is.

Wes:

But okay. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna break that down into pieces at a time. So just the first like how has it helped me embrace myself? That was part of the as you can see, if you're watching, I have my headband on and I have these lovely opera gloves, and this is a signature of my look. And the reason that I do this is that I it's masculine forward with more than just a splash of femme and these gloves unlock. Something in me where there's this sas, there's this Sul Nest, there's this something that is, it gives me a little I don't know but like a

Quincy:

mask almost,

Wes:

right? Yeah. It's and it's part of my character as Wes Hollywood when I'm on, when I'm on the box. So yeah, that's my stage name is Wes Hollywood. For that. Yeah. That's my Instagram too, if you wanna follow me, but is Hollywood. Yeah. So the Go-go dancing has helped me tap into that for sure. And it's funny because some bars when they're, asking you to I've learned to not ask if they. If they're looking for a particular vibe on that masculine, feminine spectrum, because I've found that even the bars that say they want that like masculine vibe, the crowd eats it up when I come out there and I'm like, huh. And it they don't, I don't know that it's not, they're not in touch with what people want. It's just that they don't. They're thinking of something else, and for me it's been a lot of fun experimenting with gender in that way. I am fully comfortable in my skin as a cis man, but being able to tap into that feminine side of me is a lot of fun and dancing. There's a lot of, there's a lot of opportunity for dancers to be feminine. There's a lot of fun body shapes and movements and combinations of things that you can do that masculinity doesn't necessarily allow you access to. So that's one thing. But the other thing that like, I, it being a Go-Go dancer has helped me. Understand my body better too. I have this experience early on. I used to dance at this party called The Vault, and it was on Tuesday nights. Not a very big night, but there would be some really talented dancers there. And I remember these guys, these two guys in particular who were these tall, slender, black. Vogue dancer types, and I'd watch them thinking, oh my goodness. I wish I could do all that. Like they're, and that's a very feminine looking, performance style. So what I would do is I'd go home and I'd look at myself in the mirror and I'd try to copy them and. My body does not look the same as their body doing that, but I was able to take some of the pieces of what they were doing and, apply it to what I have going on, what I've been born with, what I've been blessed with. And so I think that it's helped me understand my movement better. It's also, just from a working out perspective helped me in that realm as well. Like understanding just a mind body connection that. I practice on a regular basis because of that. So yeah, I think that's like how it's physiologically interacted with me. But from a prep standpoint, I'm not necessarily starving myself, but I'm not eating a fat meal right beforehand. I try not to eat probably three, four hours beforehand. But you know, sometimes by the end of it. I am so ready to eat that I will before my last set or something like that. In terms of the prep I'm not starving myself beforehand, but I definitely am not eating a big meal right. Beforehand. I will say. You are being objectified. And if you know you're being objectified on Saturday, you bet your ass you're gonna make it to the gym. So that's another little mechanism that it's got in my life is that it is motivation to stay in shape also stay limber. I have had, I have learned the hard way that. Stretching is a very important part of being a dancer and that you need to keep up on it regularly. I had an ACL scare, not a quite tear, but it was a stretch, and I had to be out for about six weeks in February this year. And I was devastated. It's something that I really enjoyed doing, and being out for that amount of time was not fun. And then also just the fact that you're hurt. And that's never fun. Working out and stretching and, eating somewhat clean. Hey I'm all for a late night. Jack in the Box, stop. I'm not, the, influencer type who's, waiting until 1:00 PM to eat every single day and is, hasn't had a carb since 2015. But I think it's, it definitely helps encourage moderation in my diet. In terms of night of prep, it's mostly just picking outfits. I am definitely. Someone who likes to dress up. I always have been whether that's like growing up in Halloween or like parties in college or things like that, there's been more than one costume contest that I've taken home the prize on. So this is another opportunity for me to do that. And that's, like not every single, especially not very many go-go male dancers are wearing opera gloves up there. I have all kinds of different gloves. I have all different kinds of. Of colored outfits that I do. I love when a party has a theme because you bet your ass I'm gonna I'm gonna hit that theme and I actually book for a party called Saturday Night House and I curate the looks for the dancers, and that's a lot of fun. I really love doing that. Our most recent one was a pride closing party, and the organizers gave me two words. They said shiny. And dangerous. That was the two words. And I was like, okay, so what am I gonna do with this? Because I didn't wanna do just some basic rainbow flag. So I was like, what's shiny and dangerous snakes? And so I'd made, I assigned each dancer. We weren't all dressed the same. Each dancer was a deity. Or a serpent of myth, right? Or of history. So I myself was based on the serpent from the Garden of Eden. So I was black and red and orange for the flames of hell. I had a Medusa. Who was, she's a trans woman. So she was pink, blue, and white with the Medusa Grecian robes. I had this cis black girl who was Cleopatra she looked gorgeous in the blue in the gold. And then I had in last dancer. I had to reach for this one'cause I was like, how am I gonna incorporate the green and the purple? But there is a anaconda in Venezuelan myth, Vaku mama. And so I made him my green and purple palette. So we had all the entire rainbow represented. I like stoned head pieces. I actually stone. Gloves for me and the other guy. I made, I spent hours hot glue in and rhines stoning things, and I had a lot of fun with it. This is the second time that I've actually gone all out with costumes for that. But that kind of prep when I'm not just dancing, but also managing the dancings, booking them, and then creating costumes obviously is a lot more. But I love it. It's an amazing creative outlet.

Quincy:

Oh my God. Did you ever think that you should get into set design or costume design?

Wes:

I mean, like going back to

Quincy:

school?

Wes:

No, not in any like serious way. I think that I'm happy with. The cadence or the frequency that I'm asked to do those kinds of things. Because I will say it's a lot of work to do that, like rhinestone an entire two different pairs of gloves.

Speaker 3:

Yes.

Wes:

That took, and I also had to stretch it over the, it was like, it was a lot of learning trial and error also, like figuring out how to make rhinestones stick onto this mesh material

Quincy:

without burning it.

Wes:

Exactly. So anyway. Not necessarily. I think that I've always had pretty good taste, who doesn't? But I, who

Quincy:

doesn't think you have good taste? No.

Wes:

You know what? That's one interpretation. I was like, who, who doesn't think they have good taste? But I think I have good taste. They do, and people have told me that I, that they like the things that I've made. And the dancers always get excited when I give them to them as well. So that's a fun aspect of it. Would I pursue it more? Yes. Am I doing that actively? No. But who knows? I think that the, I the attention that I've gotten because of it has been overwhelmingly positive. And in my experience, these things just lead to more opportunities like that. And as I've gotten to know more people who are in positions to maybe. Offer me these kinds of roles or even just participate in some way as a dancer. I am building up a larger and larger pool of contacts for that kind of thing. So who knows? My ex, actually he was a set designer, so it's funny that you say set design, but he actually parlayed that into costume design and he made, at two prides ago, he made Grace Jones's head headpiece while she performed at West Hollywood Pride. I don't think he ever expected to be doing that kind of thing, but it can take you anywhere.

Quincy:

Oh my God, that is so fun. So you're doing so much in public. I'm curious, has there been a moment where you've struggled with the have to perform side of you?

Wes:

I mean, there's nights where you're just not feeling it, like there, it, of course, there's nights where you're really excited there, there's certain parties that I really love and there's even been times where I get to that party and I'm like, Ugh, I don't wanna, I don't wanna do it. And, but you make it happen. Of course. In terms of the half to perform, I think that like more exhausting is the half to perform as a professional in a traditional kind of job. Like being on is what I'm talking about. When you really aren't feeling it, you'd rather be doing something else. I do have a story though. Tell me about a time where I was not feeling it and it was a lesson learned, so it was a Wednesday night. It was at Rocco's in West Hollywood. I was not excited to be there. I was like, it's so slow. No one's here. I'm just dancing for an empty room basically. And for my first two sets, I was just like. Like kind of ass face on the box, and it was really dragging. So in my second break, I went down there between my second and third set. And I was thinking to myself, you're just making this drag out. You're making this take longer than it should. You should just have fun. You should change the goal here from making money to just enjoying the dancing. And so I did, I went up there and I was like, you know what? Let's just listen to the music. Fuck who's here or who's not, and we'll just we'll have fun. And so I was doing that. And the next thing that I know, this documentary film crew walks in the door. And they're like, they come up to me and they're like, Hey, we're filming this documentary about this comedian. He just came out and we want some shots of his entourage, like making it rain on a dancer. And so the producer just handed these three chicks, this like stacks of cash and they're just throwing it all on top of me and I'm like, oh, this is awesome. But, and so at the end of it, I made$420 on that single set.

Speaker 3:

No.

Wes:

Really? Yeah. And I know that if I had just been up there with a face that didn't look like I was enjoying myself, that they wouldn't have approached me. They could have gone to any one of the three dancers that were there. So anyway that's been the lesson for me is that whenever I start feeling like I don't want to do this, I try to figure out why is that? And was it because I'm not making money and I wanted to. Because if that's the case, there are other reasons that I would want to dance. And enjoying the process itself. The love of the game is definitely one of'em. So that was a valuable lesson. And I think that, while I don't have any other experiences where I can say it made me. Hundreds of dollars in a single set. I have to believe that mentality has helped me in the long run financially or otherwise.

Quincy:

So did you tell your parents about that? Like

Wes:

it was on HBO,

Quincy:

was It was the Jared

Wes:

Carmichael Reality show. Why did you

Quincy:

tell me? I would've watched it.

Wes:

I was on hacks. You were

Quincy:

too. Yeah. I mean, I wasn't as well, but I mean,

Wes:

I was on hacks. I was, season four, episode five, I think. Do you watch that show?

Speaker 3:

No.

Wes:

Oh there's a scene where she goes into a gay bar and I am a dancer in a cage. I have a, maybe like total three seconds of airtime.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Wes:

But that three seconds is enough for me to get like 150 texts in a span of a month. When that episode came out,

Quincy:

oh my God, I had no

Wes:

idea how many people watch that show. It's really good. But

Quincy:

I've heard it's really good just. I get so little time alone to watch tv. I have a middle schooler and I'm really strict about what she can hear and see. Yeah.'cause I'm trying to keep her right, as innocent, as long as possible. Even though I know she's not innocent. I don't wanna be like, Hey, this is what it's like out there. I was happy to

Wes:

be able to rock the opera gloves and headband Oh my gosh. On the episode of hacks that I was on. So I got that branding in and. It worked. People recognized me immediately they said. So that was pretty cool. It was a lot of fun.

Quincy:

That is so much.

Wes:

I also, another just the, kind of film thing I was in, I was recently in a feature length with a speaking role as a stripper at a bachelorette party. So how

Quincy:

did that happen?

Wes:

Good question. They reached out to me on Instagram. I think I was referred by somebody, but I don't even remember. It was like a French director. It's I think it's called Hidden Hills. It's supposed to come out next summer. But yeah, I've got about, I think I'm, I've got like maybe 10 minutes of screen time on that one. I've got some speaking roles, like I said, so I think I'm getting an IMDB.

Quincy:

Oh,

Wes:

listing because of it. Yeah. No, it's pretty cool. Nice. You

Quincy:

better get your SAG card too.

Wes:

Yeah, we'll see. I think it's hard to do that. I don't know anything about it though.

Quincy:

I don't know anything about it, but you should probably try it, oh my gosh. That is so cool that those kinds of things are happening. But I have talked to a lot of people recently. Some of them are coming on the show, and you'd be surprised how many people and assistants they have that are. Studying Instagram. They're not mentioning TikTok as much though. They're really talking about Instagram still being like the platform where they're finding these sort of hidden talents, even for shows that were just on like building the band. And then they said do this interview and they flew them out and then they. It had them do more interviews and it's this sort of, process of, I'm pretty sure a

Wes:

couple of the euphoria actors were Instagram finds actually. Yeah, probably. That was a really good show. It was. I didn't get to see

Quincy:

all of it, but I've seen Are they done episodes of it? Are is it over? You're asking the wrong girl. I don't even know. Bringing Go-Go dancing. And the productions that you put together in the past, where do you see that heading in the future? Because obviously all dancers know that there is a shelf life, we know that, your feet can only take so much. Your thighs can only take so much. It's just. A lot of work.

Wes:

Yeah.

Quincy:

And to date, I haven't seen anyone over probably 40 go-go dancing at any of our local arts.

Wes:

Totally. There's one guy in Palm Springs I know of who's gotta be legendary in his pushing 60 at this point. But you're right, there are very few and far between. Yeah, no, it's something that I have thought a lot about and if it, I obviously, if I were gonna be a dancer for life, I, what a, what do people who are. Maybe like ballerinas do they become teachers or they actually start going into more of the production side of it, and that's something that I've been experimenting with, not necessarily producing. Go-go shows, which I don't know what that is, but I mean, like I mentioned I'm booking and curating looks for that warehouse party, but I'm very interested in getting into more of just the event production side of things. I do have. A couple drag shows under my belt as I'm part an organizer for those things. They happen at Beaches Tropicana, the old heart location in West Hollywood. The first one that I ever had the opportunity to work on was called Project Drag. It was a competition. It was a lot of fun, really well received. And right now we're actually doing it's called Drag Me to Dinner. And it's like a dinner and a show, and it's a very cabaret style show. So it's not just. 10 lip syncs in a row. Same thing, that you've always seen at every other drag show ever. But we always open with a big group number. There's duets. There's trios. The host who's a guy named Tony, he does a number. Often I've been in a couple as a boy. And it's like our audience participation and more than just like someone who's gonna go, there's lots of like gags and things that go beyond just your typical. A bunch of lip syncs in a row and then you go home.

Quincy:

So it's like a variety show,

Wes:

right? Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And we're trying to, we're trying to encourage the girls who participate to think outside the box and not just do you know, something that you've already seen. And the girls that we have are great for sure. We actually do have a little bit of an idea right now, the movie Two Wong Fu. We're trying to maybe see about doing a screening of two Wong Fu that. Melds with the show so that you're watching the movie, but then there might be lip syncing to along to a scene. Or maybe we pause the movie Like

Quincy:

Rocky or Picture show.

Wes:

Exactly. Exactly. And then like maybe doing like a specialty cocktail at the bar that involves like strawberry pie or having some kind of costume contest. So like we're trying to think outside the box beyond just. Here's a drag show that you've, you could go see anywhere. And the fact that there's also dinner served, I think is already something that is a little bit different. But in general, I'm trying to. Be more of a, someone that people look to as a connector in that space. I will be totally honest that I'm learning. I'm not the person who's going to be able to answer every single question. However, I have connections that span beyond just nightlife. I know people who might be vendors and sponsors for things. I have people, I know people who might have. Venues that aren't your typical West Hollywood venue. And I really want to be given opportunity there to. Be more in that production side of things for several reasons. The shelf life is definitely part of it. That's not lost on me, but I do have a while. Yeah, no, I don't think that you're gonna be seeing me off the box anytime soon, but why wait until I have to step down to start working on something that might be a little bit more sustainable long term. And so that's one reason, but also. The shows that I've been given the opportunity to be a part of have been so much fun. Being, and I do this with a lot of the volunteer stuff that I do. We're putting on networking events, which are fun in their own right. But you know, when an event's going really well and you get to look around and say wow, look what I did. And people are coming up and giving you good feedback. That's an amazing feeling. That's something that makes me feel, motivated to keep going. I want to do it again. I want to see what else we can do. I wanna get that feedback, if there is anything constructive and like how can we make it better next time? And it's a lot of work, but it's a lot of fun. It's very rewarding. I will say that most of my events have been in that break even zone, but I'm new, so being in that zone is not something that I'm necessarily, frustrated by yet, but I would love to get to the point where we're really making money with it.

Quincy:

Do you have a name for your production company?

Wes:

No, I mean, just West Hollywood is my like nightlife. That sounds like a great

Quincy:

name.

Wes:

My nightlife alter ego. West Hollywood, but

Quincy:

west Hollywood events like,

Wes:

yeah. Or I could just do West Hollywood and Lll c it, yeah, there's a warehouse. There's a warehouse party that, other than the one that I already mentioned with the dancers, that I'm pretty involved in organizing or helping plan. And that's called Liberace.

Quincy:

Oh. Actually I'm interviewing one of Liberace's nephews in a few weeks.

Wes:

Really? Okay. But one of our little claims to fame for that party is that we have a huge disco ball that is shaped like a flacid dick. My god, I actually, that hand mirrored it. You did? I thought it was gonna take eight hours. That's what I allotted. It took 32 hours later. We are still working on it. Nice. I have four people going on. It's big. It's like,

Quincy:

how, what size are the tiles that you're

Wes:

they varied for the balls. We did probably these like threequarter of an inch by threequarter of an inch. But for the shaft and the head, we did little tiny, like they come in strips so you are able to like, stick them in strips. But we wanted to have. Some difference between, in texture. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Quincy:

So who was the model for that?

Wes:

That's a good question. My my good friend Anthony actually had it commissioned, so I don't know that there was a specific model, but maybe it was him. You don't

Speaker 3:

know. I'll have to,

Wes:

maybe you can have him on and see. You can have him whip it out and see if it matches. Just kidding. Oh my God. No, that would

Quincy:

be classic. That would be so funny. We just have to like screen out the video.

Wes:

But yeah, the only other thing that beyond that, that I've done is. I've been here and there. I've been making some visual. Kind of promotional art for things. So like for my bra drag show or the drag competition that I was a part of for a while, I was making weekly promotional material, filming it, splicing together using just Canva making a promotion, an intro for the next week and that kind of thing. For Liberaci, I make this ambient splice video. Pulls things from I have. Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, and I have like videos of guys cruising in the seventies and oh my god, Britney Spears on the airplane and toxic and a flower blooming all in the same video and it's all just it's probably a 10 minute long video. All told that just goes and it provides this. Queer, raunchy, entertaining pop culture, referential video there. So there's things like that where, like those are more just hobbies. But I'm experimenting with some skills that I've never had the opportunity to experiment with before. And for the most part, people seem like they're liking them. I mean, they're getting used. Wow,

Quincy:

that is so much fun. I'm so excited for you. So I have to go to this party. You need to

Wes:

Liberaci? Yes. I think we're doing one next month. I'll let you know. Okay.

Quincy:

Let me know. We'll put it up on our Instagram page and try to get more people to come. Yeah. And oh my God, that sounds like so much fun. So let's finish up. And I have just a couple more questions. When you had your first sexual experience after you decided. In 2021 that you were for sure gay, like what was it that like tipped you over the edge and said, Hey,

Wes:

yeah, so at the time I was actually dating a girl. She and I remain great friends. But we were living together, we were dating pretty serious. We had been together maybe not quite a year yet, but she had been a good friend of mine prior to that. But she left and I was openly bisexual, so it wasn't my first gay sexual experience by any means. But when I was treating her, I wasn't really. Having sex with men. And I think I was really craving it. I didn't necessarily even realize that. But anyway, I got on Grindr and I ended up connecting with this guy and I cheated on her with him. And in the morning we got breakfast and he invited me to a party and she was still outta town. So I went to the party with him and I realized that we, when I was with Maddie, my girlfriend at the time,

Speaker 3:

oh.

Wes:

And social scenarios, even if it was a group of people I was very comfortable with there was this hesitation or this resistance on my side for performing boyfriend, and I didn't know what that was. But now I'm at this party with this stranger around other strangers, and that discomfort is nowhere to be found. And that was my epiphany that like literally the next day when I was reflecting, I was like, oh my gosh, you're gay. Like I said, I realized right then that was, that it was, it had nothing. There was nothing Maddie was doing wrong. There was nothing I was doing wrong there. It's just that it was not what I wanted. And it took me having this experience where I did cheat on her and do something that, I think a lot of people would say was not right to realize that what I really wanted was not what I was doing. And she actually, when she came home. Immediately knew something was wrong, something was off, and she like pulled it outta me. I wasn't like, ready to see when you

Quincy:

have that tendency to read people, really. And

Wes:

it was a tough era, living with her. And and then I ended up dating that guy, Mariano. We, and I, he and I dated for almost two years after that. But that was the experience was. A little infidelity and doing something I had never done before to make me realize that is what I wanted. And I'm lucky that Maddie was not lying when she said all she wanted for me to be was to be happy.

Speaker 3:

Aw.

Wes:

Because I, I hope that every gay man can have a Maddie in their life because she is someone that I have a, she's I her relationship. Is like no other that I have in my life. I know for sure I'll be in her life and she'll be in mine forever. Whether that is, because she lives in the same town or not, it's gonna be something that we always stay in touch and we have a very special relationship. And the fact that we were able to make it through that really challenging time, our relationship, I know for sure. We can handle anything else, and I'm very grateful to have her. But yeah, that was my coming out experience which was I. A little messy at times, but we made it through.

Quincy:

Yeah. I mean, has there been anyone that hasn't had a messy experience?

Wes:

I mean, I think maybe there's kids who just like everyone knows from their entire life, but other than that, like they just grow up and everyone's oh yeah, that's the gay kid. But,

Quincy:

and I can see that because even when I was in elementary school and then I went to junior high school with these girls, and no boys did I realize this, that, but I realized it in other. Girls that were friends of mine or acquaintances of mine, like they were playing basketball. But so did a lot of my extremely straight friends. With basketball too. But there were just certain things about these girls that I knew they were a word that meant that they weren't straight. But I didn't know what that word was. And so when we went to our class reunion, I was telling them, oh my God, I've known you were gay since we were in fourth or fifth grade or seventh grade. And they were like, why didn't you tell me? And I was like I didn't tell you because. One, I didn't know that I should or needed to. But I didn't know that there was this language around telling people that they were gay. And what made you think I was gay? I don't know. I didn't know I was gay then. I just thought I had crushes on all these girls because I was a girl that. Had friends that were girls. Yeah. I didn't realize that it was, there was a difference until I realized the difference was these weren't just friendships with girls. I was literally crushing. Seriously crushing on these people. That became my really good friends. So I can see where you. Would just, people just grow up and they just have to learn how to express it. And maybe it's totally different for kids now, Sure. How does it get to the point where now there's not even coming out anymore? I like that I have a story, but is it going to be a bummer later when there is no story? Because there's this big hurrah, right? And like you can finally embrace it and you can finally you have this feeling of satisfaction because you're out now, yeah.

Wes:

But I think that it's also maybe a little dangerous to romanticize the struggle just because the reason it's so liberating is because you've been. Not liberated, and so never having to deal with the negative side of it that will, I think, change things. But I don't necessarily think that we're missing out on something by not having it. We're we have pride because it is a protest because it needed to happen, right? But if we remove the need for the protest and people can just be themselves. Does that mean it's a bad thing? I don't know. It's hard to say. Honestly. I think that people will probably have lots of different things to say on that. And I think that any community who feels marginalized probably has thoughts on that. But for me, I appreciate being able to be proud of it, but would it have been easier growing up to not feel like I couldn't be who I wanted to be? Definitely. Would I be who I am now? Probably not the same. So it's hard to say, it's hard. It's, there's a lot of different factors there and I'm not really sure if there's a really easy way to yes or no to that kind of thing.

Quincy:

Yeah. I totally agree. Totally agree. Thank you so much for coming. I hope that we can do a part two when you fully launch your production company CCC. Yeah. And when I can come back on here and do a solo episode and talk all about coming to the event Liberaci next month, which would be in September

Wes:

I think. Yeah. I'm not the one who decides the dates, so we're gonna figure that.'cause it's a venue thing. Some warehouse downtown. But yeah, no, this is a lot of fun and I hope to see you at one or all of my events in the future.

Quincy:

I would love to. Trust me. Absolutely. Yeah.

People on this episode

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Quincy Tessaverne

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